Primordial Chaos

I really despise the fact I feel a need for this post to exist. I am angered by the behavior of some of those around me. As I am fucking tired of having this conversation, I'm unloading here and then referring others to this post to save me from wasting anymore of my time and breath on this.

So a few of you have made it unpleasantly clear you do not approve of Warren in my life and/or somehow feel it is related to my falling out with Ryan. Listen to me, fuckstains. Ryan tried to pressure me into moving in with him when he got back. Even though I did enjoy spending time with him, that is NOT the direction I wanted to go with him. This whole falling out happened the day BEFORE Warren emailed me after 3 months. It was purely happenstance timing. Not a god damn thing more.

Yes I was very open to repairing the damage between Warren and I. I always give many chances for people to fix their mistakes with me. Some of you are only still in my life because of such chances. What happened, happened. Warren and I have made our peace and really picked up right where we left off, if not with a deeper appreciation and respect of each other. We learned life without each other sucks. We missed each other terribly. That whole mess is water under the bridge now, and some of you should leave it as such. It's between me and him anyways.

Speaking of between me and him, stop fucking hounding me about what's "going on" between me and him. I refuse to define our relationship to anyone, and really, I don't fucking know what he and I "are". I'm ok with that, so you should take a clue and do the same. Shit's complicated, alright? And what the fuck do you care anyways? I don't know what it is or where it's going. Final answer. I just know I love him immensely and am glad he's in my world making shit complicated. He's my favorite frustration. Some of you are REAL CLOSE to being my LEAST favorites.

He is not manipulating me. He has before, yes. But that ain't this. New phase now, and everything previously is forgotten as far as I care. Using previous behaviors to try and prove he is up to no good now is a logical fallacy and a SERIOUS crime and insult against me. Knock it the fuck off. Now.

I'm a grown ass woman and can handle my shit, thank you very much. The fact is I don't know where I'm going from here, in regards to him or hell, even otherwise. I'm still not even sure what school I'm going to...or if I should apply elsewhere or if I will apply elsewhere. I don't know how much Warren factors into that. I am not stressing it, or I wasn't until I kept getting rafts of shit about it. When I know for sure, everyone else will. End of fucking story.

All further inquiries will be referred to my ass in the form of you kissing it. With tongue.

I'm fucking ashamed to know some of you right now. You know who you are, and you can fuck off.

~A.