Back to normal, a song title, Van Hunt is the artist. :)
This is going to be a brief post, but something interesting to some of you.
So, yeah, I'm pretty severely autistic. I was told this when I got my test scores back when I was originally diagnosed. I kept being autistic to myself for a long time. I felt like I was broken, that I was a....defect. In the past two years I've really come to grips with it, and am not so ashamed, it's kind of my badge of honor at this point.
Anyways, I was going through some papers in my desk, and I found some of my original test scores, and also the retests I did recently. The scores didn't change AT ALL. I don't entirely understand how I have such control of it but yet the scores didn't change, but whatever. So, for the first time, my scores and a brief explanation. I have nothing to hide anymore.
I have 3 test results (there were a few more, but can't find them...) and these 3 are the most common tests used to gauge if you show up on the autistic spectrum.
First one is the Autism Spectrum Quotient, or ASQ. The ASQ is out of 50, the average is about 16-17, over 32 are STRONG autistic tendencies.
My score: 45/50
Next up is the Empathizing Quotient, basically how well you understand and read facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, feel empathy, the social skills autistics tend to suck at. It's out of 30, the lower the score the worse you are at empathy. Women tend to score higher than men, but both average in the mid teens or so. This is the score that shocked me the most, that I was this far off base in regards to interacting with people.
My score: 2/30
Last is the Systemizing Quotient, basically how analytical and detail oriented you are, or how much you analyze everything as parts of a system, I guess you could say. The higher the score, the more you display this autistic tendency. This also includes thinking things to death trying to find a pattern or logic in it. (This is probably one of my worst faults, really.) It's out of 80, men tend to score higher than women, engineers tend to score higher than the average regardless of their sex. Women VERY VERY rarely score high on this test. I mean fucking rarely. Engineers tend to score in the high 40s and low 50s, others about the 20-30s. Actually my score on this caused them to retest me twice, they were in fucking disbelief because, of course, I'm a female who scored high. It wasn't much of a surprise to me because I'm well aware of just how intense I analyze everything.
My score: 77/80
I do tend towards the extremes of EVERYTHING, don't I? :)
Some side info, as far as personality tests, Meyers-Briggs I'm an INTP, and out of the Director, Builder, Negotiator, and Explorer, I'm very strongly Director with some secondary Explorer. If you are not familiar with these tests and what those types mean, they have this thing called Google. :P
No wonder I'm introspective, I'm fascinating as hell. ;)
~A.
I've deviated from my usual theme of using titles/lyrics of songs. It stems from a conversation I had at school a few weeks ago. I bought these Converse shoes (seriously, I'm addicted to Converse, if you can't think of a gift for me, a brightly colored pair of Converse is like one of the best gifts ever) and they are silver glitter. Not just silver though, but kind of like the surface of a CD that reflects all sorts of other colors kind of silver. (I know at least one of you is going to flip over a CD to see what I mean.) When I'm walking in the shade, they basically look like silver glitter and grey from a distance. When I step into the sunshine....just wow. They really sparkle and shine, and people do double takes when I walk by because they're REALLY glittery and attention grabbing. Anyways, I was strolling to class in the sunshine wearing my shoes for the first time, sparkling with every step (as I do), smiling, and a friend of mine spots me (yeah, like that's hard). He comes up and tells me my shoes are pretty awesome and that they are very me. I jokingly asked if I reminded him of Liberace's closet, and his reply, which I'll never forget, is this:
"No, because with every step it's like you are dancing on stars, and THAT is very you."
That still makes me smile. Anyways, there's the long winded and sorta boring story of where I got this title from.
It's funny that I didn't title this from a song because it's another soliloquy about music. Something about me and music that I only never noticed until recently.
Basically where I am AND what I am doing dictate the genre of music I prefer. My musical base is definitely funk/funk rock, RnB, a little bit of hip hop, soul, acid jazz, and whatever the hell you can label Jamiroquai as. A large majority of my music collection is from these genres. This is the music I like to listen to when I'm working on homework, getting ready in the morning, winding down in the evening, it's my music for me in my "ground state". However, when I'm walking around campus or out running errands (seriously, I'm never without my headphones), I can't stand the slower paced music or Jamiroquai. So it's usually funk/funk rock and upbeat hip hop, but throw in alternative as well. A bit of a deviance from my base, but hey, I'll go with it.
In my car, I ONLY listen to rock music, or what I like to call driving music.It is THE ONLY TIME I listen to rock, really. Barring looking for new music/artists, but as far as just straight listening, ONLY in my car. Major deviance from my base, and it kind of shocks people who know me and my "usual" music. This also includes large amounts of Hendrix, you have a great chance of catching me listening to Foxy Lady or All Along the Watchtower as I drive by, I heavily favor those. The only non-rock song I listen to in my car, this will surprise no one who has known me for a while, is Cosmic Girl by Jamiroquai. I run the range of rock music, at least 20 different artists currently in my car, and I've recently added Oasis to the mix. This is fucking strange because outside of my car, there's like 3 songs I can tolerate. Inside, ALL OF THEM are good. I figured this out on accident because I grabbed the wrong stack of CDs I'd burned (and didn't label) on my way out the door.
In my car or when I'm out and about walking around are the only 2 real anomalies. If I am sitting somewhere (on campus on my netbook for example), or at home, the music and the lyrics directly reflect my mood, as I mentioned in a recent post. If I'm pissed, it's a song about being pissed (I have a lot of those, hmmm....) sad to sad, happy to happy, you get the idea. Music is just integral to who I am. Even the pace of my step and the beat of my heart set a rhythm and a melody.
I talked to my dad earlier, and I think at SOME point I'll just have my own damn website. I'd like to combine all my online presences into one place, plus have a place to maybe post some of my writings. Pics here, blog there, twitter, I update this one but not that one, just bleh. I wonder if I could program a feature to where I can post updates from my phone....(I'm a nerd what do you expect?)
I like how I consider THIS post a "short" post. Guess I'm a bit long winded and verbose. :)
Now if you will excuse me, I need to get back to conquering my world.
~A.