Primordial Chaos

Argh. I hate when professors screw up on the syllabus, and two of them did this and confused me. They put Tuesday, February 24th as the due date for two of my papers. Tuesday is the 23rd. They just kept saying the 24th in class, so I assumed they meant Wednesday. Hell no, they meant Tuesday so the revising I was going to do Tuesday as not to stress myself out anymore I'll be doing tonight. Test and 1 paper due tomorrow, 2 tests and 2 papers due Tuesday. Ugh. I was so hoping I could worry about 2 of the papers after my tests were done but no. I'd do it tomorrow night, but with 2 fucking tests the next day I'd rather review the material for those. I am just glad I can crank out top quality papers without much effort. If I couldn't write, this would be the ultimate academic hell.


So I've been up since 7 am studying, reading and writing. I JUST NOW took a break to take a shower, that was at 3 pm. I've been holed up in my room for 8 hours straight, just sitting at my desk immersing myself in getting everything done. I only took a break because I felt close to burn out, and once I hit that I won't learn shit no matter how hard I study. Gonna go for a drive in a bit, just to get out of the house. But it'll be right back to the grind afterwards.


The first two application deadlines I have are March 1st and 5th. I've already got everything completed and sent off for those, so no stress. Except I realize that's when they start reviewing the applications, and I'm all spazzed out about what they'll think of me. One of them didn't have an essay part to the app, and I'm worried about that one because you get the best idea of me, if you have to choose one medium, from what I write. I wrote a couple of stunner essays for one school, the others I've had to write are good, but I hold the most pride in those two essays. The last lines on both REALLY leave a hell of an impression, and I have an interesting tendency to end everything I write on a really striking comment. I do this on my blog posts too, something I didn't notice till recently. Anyways, I'm really proud of those 2 essays, and I go re-read them about once a week. There's some seriously killer sentences in them. :P I think my favorite line out of both of them is "Using written words, what I see, think and feel manifests in the minds of others with a clarity that actuates my world into their eyes". I generally hate everything I write, but holy shit that's so fucking genius. I never cease to be impressed by that sentence. Maybe that's arrogant, but I'd like to see the self chosen best sentences from other app essays. I'm like MC Hammer, you can't touch this. :P 

I have 3 really great writers in my world, all of whom have said they wish they could write like me. Which kind of confuses me because they are wonderful writers in their respective styles. Hell, I only learned what the fuck a semi-colon is used for in my writing class in January. My understanding of proper written English is innate to a large extent. I know something is well written and clear when it sounds right in my head. That's how I revise essays, people. I read everything out loud in my head, if that makes sense, and anything that "feels" unclear or improperly written I change. I tend to do this as I go along, though I always go back a couple more times to double check. Sentences feel correct to me, they don't look correct or are correct according to the rules of English. A sentence that can very well be grammatically correct and without errors is quite able to still feel "wrong" to me. I've done this for as long as I can remember, feeling my way through what I write. I think my clarity comes from often going back or double checking to make a sentence feel right, which tends to also enhance its clarity. I've said this before, but my greatest writing sin is I abuse commas A LOT. Almost every professor I've EVER had to write for has written in my margins "excessive comma use". But to me the sentence feels right that way, so these comments tend to piss me off. I like my commas, dammit! ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

I love Converse sneakers. They are my version of the stereotypical female shoe obsession. In a bit of a peculiarity, I do not own a pair of blue converse, blue being my fav color. I have turquoise, but nothing close to blue. I should get a pair that matches my car. Considering my Droid case, valve stem caps and seats in my car all match the blue paint. For whatever school I decide on, I am going to get a custom pair of Converse in the school colors, and I'm going to rock those kicks my first day there.

I wandered off for like 3 hours there before I got back to writing this, heh. Was just completely burnt out. But now my mind is clearer, so I'll study until time for bed. They could at least wait to brutalize me at the END of the week. From Wednesday on it's gonna be a hell of a struggle to get through the damn day.

Ok so, heard this song while driving around earlier and starting bouncing and dancing in my seat. Had to try something new to add it here because I'm kinda tired of youtube's bullshit. Also note I added Part of the Queue off to the side. I fucking love that song, so it gets a more permanent place on here. :P