Primordial Chaos

Gas Panic by, of fucking course, Oasis. At least it's not Part of the Queue.

Alright so, FINALLY, I received my replacement high def bluetooth headphones. Brand new, not refurbed, in retail packaging. Now, my original ones were solid black. That's what I was expecting. Not what I got.

I got white with light blue and chrome and a little gray. At first I was like what the fuck is this shit, because through the packaging the light blue looked gray. Then I opened it and saw it was light blue...and that made everything better. They're actually really slick looking. Don't match my phone, but whatever. My phone is on its way out anyways, about to be replaced. So, now I'm like every other person with white headphones. Except mine weren't made by Apple, they're not connected to an iPod and I'm not wired to a device. :P So, on my old ones the right ear stopped putting out sound, but I didn't stop using them or anything. Still went running with them and wore them to school. Now that I have a fully working set again, WOW, music sounds so much better, ha. Didn't realize just how much I was missing with just one side working. I seriously love these things. I can keep my phone in my laptop bag so I'm not carrying it around and can't drop it or anything. Also nice not having to worry about wires when running. Plus it's a bluetooth headset, so I have my handsfree in the car, as is the law.  I also REALLY like when I get a phone call, I hear in BOTH ears. Unlike, say, using the phone itself or even a one ear bluetooth headset. And it's in high def sound. Woohoo! Motorola S9-HD, in case you're curious.

Heh, I almost had a moment when I saw the light blue and white. W's school colors are white and light blue. I immediately thought of the basketball team too. Last season he talked me into watching the Tar Heels games, and I kinda got hooked, especially when they won the national championship. The Lobos are just fucking embarrassing, so it was really cool to watch a decent team. Also me and him would both be watching the game and texting or IM'ing through it with the usual couch referee commentary, so I have positive memories associated with light blue and white. So when I was buying running shorts, before shit went south, I bought a light blue/white pair and a light blue/white pair of basketball shorts. So, you know, show my support or whatever on game days. Of course, I also bought the same two pairs of shorts just in red/white for the Lobos. Not that's there any hope for them, but they ARE my current home team. It's kinda fun to get all worked up watching games, even if the team sucks. I've been talking to friends who are out of state, and I tell them UNM is a Division I school, they're like "are you fucking kidding me?". I wish, heh. Anyways, regardless of everything, I'm still a Tar Heels fan, still gonna watch the games and cheer them on, still gonna wear my shorts. So I guess the headset works for that team spirit thing too. :) I also like light blue and white as a color combo anyways.

It's kind of ridiculous to the point of fucking stupid to hate something because someone you're on really bad terms with is associated with it. That goes for Oasis, Tar Heels and whatever else. Everything has its own merit. Oh, besides the Lobos. I hope he hates the Lobos. That hate is completely justified, no matter the reason. :P

Alright, so I tweeted a pic earlier I said I was going to blog about, so here I go. Someone spray painted "YOU ARE YOUR OWN MASTER" and the anarchy symbol in Smith Plaza on a very prominent wall. Smith Plaza is where the main library, the arts and sciences building, the student union, and a bunch of other crap is located. It's probably the highest traffic area on campus. It's also our free speech area. It was still there when I got on campus this morning, but was cleaned up before 11 am. It was done sometime yesterday.

It struck a chord with me. Not the whole anarchy thing, but the whole I'm my own master part. Vandalism is bad, blah blah, but I thought it was a great message (minus the anarachy thing). It made me smile. Reminded me no one owns me, no one controls me, and there's no reason for me to not chase my dreams, there's no one who can really get in my way but me, that I have the power of shaping my future, and no one else. I think a lot of people lose that in college, or even before. They are who their parents made them to be. Same values, same ideas, no independent thought. I see that a lot in my classes. I've met so many people who defend their opinions with "well my parents raised me that way". Or "my parents are smart, I'm sure they know the right thing". STOP SMOKING THE CHEAP SHIT.

I'm nothing like either of my parents. At least, overall. I do share some personality features with both of them, but I also bring a lot of my own stuff to the table, and definitely my own opinions. sometimes we agree, sometimes we don't. I like it that way. Me and my brother are two different people too. I don't think we agree on anything. At least we get along really well now, that's cool. He's the only person I know who I can actually say is more anti-social than me. I have autism, he doesn't. That kinda makes me laugh.

So, I'm listening to that fucking song on repeat again. I've actually almost mastered it on my guitar. Strangely, I play it and sing it really well as it is in an acoustic rock style. It's also almost unsettlingly haunting on a classical guitar. Hey, playing it is more productive than listening to it constantly. Sorta. I know when I'm saying how sick of it I am I'll get referred back to these posts and comments.

My mom drove my car recently, and when she got home she was like "I'd forgotten how fun your car is to drive". It really is fun as hell to drive. Windows down, music up, (more than fucking likely Part of the Queue lately) it's...therapeutic, really. I love my car. More than I loved my 190, ha. It's great, I see parents in vans or SUVs giving me the stinkeye when I hop out of my car. When I pull up to the transit center to take the crosstown bus to campus, I see fellow students giving me dirty looks when I get out of my car and they're getting out of some old beater. Oh, and the gas milage: 33-34 mpg in town on average, 36-38 on the highway. Plus it's blue. It really can't get any more awesome, haha. It reached maxed awesome when I started driving it. :P It also forced me to learn a new skill, a skill I'd been purposely avoiding learning.

Even though I've been really down, overall my life isn't so bad. I've got a lot to smile about.

~A.