Primordial Chaos

For reasons I dunno, probably the trippy sound to it, I've been listening to this song in my car A LOT. More fucking Oasis music.



So the official diagnosis is epilepsy, and no the video doesn't give me seizures. :P You have to have at least 2 seizures before they can diagnose epilepsy, which makes sense, since just one seizure could be a one off thing. This makes my life infinitely more challenging and scary, but I haven't yet found something I won't stare in the eye and say "try me". Now is the process of figuring out the details, probable medication and just keeping my guard up. It'll just make me that much stronger in the end. But to know my high powered mind is gonna spaz the fuck out randomly is kind of upsetting. The seizures change me to a degree, my brain is different for a few weeks after. I'm hoping there's no permanent damage or anything...and I'm hoping my rather blunt demeanor tinged with  a sense of "whatever" isn't here to stay either. The idea that my brain is so bad ass it causes its own electrical storm is fascinating to me though. Really though, I can't deal with too many more brain abnormalities. Autism, epilepsy, unusually high IQ, depression...my life is only so long and I can only research so many personal causes in my lifetime. :P You can safely throw epilepsy on my "weird brain shit I wanna research" list.

Let's talk about something far more fun. Basketball. My Lobos are bad ass this year, and I'm willing to bet we get a 2 seed in the Big Dance. I'm so damn excited. Even better is it's also looking pretty likely we'll play at the Ford Center in OKC for the starting rounds. If so there's gonna be an Oklahoma vacation to watch some basketball, and I'm dragging 3 special guests with me. :P I'll bring extra Lobo gear. ;) Gotta get tickets though...that might be an issue. :( So will my embarrassing myself, but hey. This is the BIG DANCE. You can't halfass cheering on your team in the Dance, this shit calls for facepaint. :D The National Champs last year? The Tar Heels. They're not even going this year they played so bad. You're never going to hear the end of this from me. Lobos > Heels. And our team is LESS EXPERIENCED AND YOUNGER THAN THEY ARE. I'll chalk it up to my badassery being contagious. ;) Warren said the Lobos are probably gonna lose right away. :( Someone is BITTER their team sucks ass. :P

Sunday is Selection Sunday and I will be at the Pit with the Lobos watching to see what our seed is. We're determined to the the school with the MOST fans at our live on TV selection party. I'm showing up early to make sure I get in! I'll make sure to grab video from inside and post it, I've been slacking on that. Of course, I've been slacking on that to focus on school (3.75 last semester so it worked) so you can't really blame me.

Life here has been kinda crazy, I'm having seizures, my mom's car had her driver's window broken out and they stole a bunch of shit out of her car, including the cell phone I bought her, basketball fever is rampant, midterms, college apps...always something going on. Keeps me busy, which also keeps me from obsessing over college apps. Sorta.

Actually, the part I'm obsessing over lately is the move. I'm eligible for a full ride at any school I applied to, so that's not a worry, being successful in classes isn't a worry...it's going out on my own that scares me. Starting over in a lot of ways but going the direction I was meant to go in other ways. And within the next year I gotta get my shit ready for grad school. Oh fuck, I just realized I haven't even started thinking about where I want to go get my PhD or about the GRE. I'd like to double major, or hell dual degree, in Psych and Computer Science. CS is my minor now, I can't major in it at UNM because it's in the College of Engineering, not under Arts and Sciences. Other schools have both under A&S, but you can't dual degree at most of those schools. I haven't yet figured out WHY I want to go CS, because I know there's a bunch of goddamn math classes lurking in there, and I am not much of a fan and I'm not exceptionally good at it. But I am a bizarrely good programmer regardless, which confuses my brother immensely and hell, confuses me too. Maybe it's that analytical and systematic autistic mind. Just another inexplicable Aeris anomaly.

So my brother has been shooting for years, and has had a lot of practice. I have not. I'm a better shot. He tried to play a game with me the first time we went out where we were trying to see who could get closest to the bullseye. I hit the bullseye every time. He thought he was gonna get a laugh out of me, but I got to laugh at him. He's been complaining "does she HAVE to be better than me at everything?". Yes I do, BUT I couldn't ask for a better brother than him. :)

I'm gonna go work on some extra credit papers, but you'll hear from me soon.

~A.