Primordial Chaos

Another song, by Nate James and JD73.

I had forgotten just how therapeutic writing is for me. Which is funny, since I'd been going through so much lately and through varying shades of upset, I probably should have been writing. I should always be writing, actually. Keeps me pretty Zen and I have a bit of a knack for it. Of course, I think I'm a terrible writer, even know I can see I'm not really. I'm harshest on myself, of course. I can forgive everyone else many times but myself, not damn once. I inherited my mom's perfectionist tendencies. I'm never good enough, so gotta keep trying harder and harder. Regardless, I should write a “serious” piece of work. I have so many partially completed stories, one of which is 8 chapters (about 200 pages) of this sci-fi story I've been working on for...over 2 years. At first it was disinterest that kept me from finishing it, now it's a lack of time.

It's a Thursday, which usually means I'm over at the research lab until about 8pm. I love being there, that whole research gets my mind going thing. I now have my own email address at their domain, I feel all legit now. :P Tonight though I'm not going in since we don't have a scan to do, I'm going in after class tomorrow. Which is good because my day started at 5 am. It's about 11:30am as I am working on this, and I'm just plain tired already. I also usually don't have class until 2pm today too, however, I'm participating in a study, so I gotta be there at 12:30. I'm just glad I'm done at 5pm today. Slept like 10 kinds of crap, mind wouldn't calm down for one reason or another.

So, I got 3 emails about my quirky when and where I prefer music preferences. So, I'll answer the questions here, because, well I'm already writing here!

Q. Do you still feel that connection to a song when the moment, mood, person, or whatever you associate with it is over/gone?

A. Nope. The song gets immediately deleted from my collection once I come across it again. The only music I'll save regardless is music from a fav artist or music it took me forever to find.

Q. If you had to pick an artist that would be the only music you could listen to anywhere, who would it be?

A. Damn, this is a hard question, and the person who asked me this knew that is probably why he asked. It's a tie between 3, Van Hunt, Jamiroquai, and Nate James. Simply because, in my eyes, they all have great song. I mean there's not one bad song between the 3 of them. So I'd have to draw a name out of a hat or something, because I'd never decide.

Q. Would you ever go back to piano after 6 years of only sporadic playing? Would you switch to electric guitar?

A. Yes to both. I think I'm far enough away from what caused me to drop piano to go back to it without the bad association I've had with it. As far as electric guitar, I'd love to play electric for shits and giggles, or maybe doing some of the songs I know or the ones I've written with a different sound. But a classical guitar will always be my love, nothing beats the sound of nylon strings.





For reasons beyond me, I've been really nervous lately. Not like anxiety/paranoia, but just that butterflies something really good is going to happen nervous. I'm not sure why, since there's nothing I'm looking forward to except the end of the semester. (that's for a lot of reasons....) Should be interesting, my intuition is rather irritatingly right all the time, even if I don't immediately see what it knows.

OH! My car. Surprising I haven't written more about it, cause I'm addicted to the damn thing. I've gotten so good at a manual I don't even have to think about it really. I can tell by sound and feel when and where to shift, and I noticed today I self adjust without seemingly being aware. I love driving my car, just plain love it. Some music, remove the top, and go for a drive....it's my happy place. One of my favorite things when out driving is when I'm next to someone at a light or something, and I am looking UP to grin like a fool at them. The only down side to my car being SO low is you feel the road quite a bit. Every little bump, dip, piece of whatever that kicks up you feel and hear it. But I like this having a sporty little car thing, I giggle everytime I start it up. :) I'll most likely be keeping it for quite some time. I love that it's blue too. I either need to get seat covers or get new seats, because I can't stand cloth seats. It's one of my things.

Speaking of my quirks, I can't stand anything touching my forearms, wrist is ok, above the elbow is ok, but I will go straight to pissed if someone touches me on my forearms. This goes for sleeves too, except I become very agitated if my sleeves are down, but not pissed. The only exception to that is if I'm cold. I'll take sleeves over cold any day of the week.

Kinda writing this over the course of the day, so it's probably pretty disjointed. Though I'm usually disjointed so whatever.

I'm doing a project on video game villains, need to clean it up a bit, but it's basically awesome. At some point I'll get the presentation minus my yapping emailed out or something to those interested.

My mind is pretty crowded today, strange since yesterday and the day before I felt a sense of clarity. Maybe it's just all the work and stuff I've been doing. I just don't slow down when I probably should. So I'm going to end this here since as the day goes on I'm losing more and more of my concentration and forgetting what I want to write.

~A.