Primordial Chaos

A song by The Verve. This song was actually the song for my high school senior class.

I have two pets, or they have me as a pet, the line isn't really clear. A male cat named Metro, and a female afghan hound named Emma. I love them both to death, and they love me to death.

Metro is a weird little guy. He is a black cat, pure black from nose to tail. I have a thing for black cats. He isn't just some mixed breed housecat, well, not like your everyday mixed breed housecat. He's a large part of some exotic breed of cat, my mom thinks it's Siamese, but his facial structure leads me to some of the other and more feral breeds of cat. He has the face of a lion, and these really pale green glue eyes. He also has that deep purr the large feral cats have, you feel it more than you hear it. He likes to snuggle up and sleep either around my neck or with the dogs. He purrs every time he sees me. He does not like anyone else BUT me, and he is really attached to me. One day I was getting ready to leave and I had the windows down on my car. He stands up to look in the window and meows at me his "sad" meow, the same one he uses when I leave for school. I get out, pet him, then get in my car...and he launches himself into my car meowing and throwing a fit. So instead of going to the store, I went back inside with Metro (or Met as I tend to call him) gave him a little bit of milk, and we snuggled up on the couch while I read a book. He's cute that way.

The not so cute part of him is his hunting abilities. I'm constantly cleaning up dead animals. I kinda hate to say this, but he puts Minnie to shame as far as sheer volume of dead things brought back/into the house. Minnie had the nickname "The Birdinator" (bird terminator, get it?) for a reason. Metro is beyond that, and it's impressive, really. Somehow I attract murderous black cats. :P But Met loves the crap out of me and I love the crap out of him. I've had him for almost a year now, so he's almost 14 months old. Sometime he will hop on my bed, sit on my chest and purr so I will get up, go in the kitchen, and give him a little bit of milk. Then he will demand we go right back to bed, and will nudge me that direction using claws. He's really great, and he reminds me in a lot of ways of Minnie. He is smart, too damn smart for his own good.

So is Emma. That girl has my personality. She will come up and hit you to demand you pet her. Or ram her head into your leg. If she is laying down, she will smack you then lift her leg up so you rub her belly. Her favorite trick is when I'm trying to not let her into my room, but if I leave my door cracked, she will barge in and make a beeline for my bed then lay down and curl up and give me this look of "Yeah, try and make me leave". I learned, quickly, trying to make her leave isn't a great idea. So if she manages to get past me and get on my bed, I let her stay and pet her.

She also has manners. When it's food time, she politely waits away from the door for her food not barking or whining, just sitting quietly. (The other 3 dogs need to take a lesson from her.) At night, if my door is closed, she will knock on my door. If I am up, I'll let her in. However, if I am asleep and don't hear her knock, she'll go and sleep in the living room without a fuss. She adopted me, really. She was my mom's dog, but she latched on to me and won't let go. Her and Met get along really well and usually my bed has all 3 of us sleeping in it. The both of them make me smile all the time.

There's 4 dogs, 2 are my brother's,1 is mine, 1 is my mom's. There's 3 cats, one is Metro, one is Spidey, my mom's cat....and then there's Tasha. No one calls her Tasha anymore. We call her "Bad Cat", a name my brother gave her.

She eats. A LOT. She's kind of fat, really. She's a terrible hunter, she trapped this moth and when it flew at her she freaked out and ran. (Vino, the Italian Greyhound, then ate said moth.) She earned the name Bad Cat because my bedroom door is usually closed at night and she will bang and scream until I get up and let her in. She woke up my brother a few times this way, and somehow this earned her the name Bad Cat. EVERYONE in the house calls her Bad Cat. She will also lay in the middle of the cul de sac and watch the neighborhood like a creepy stalker.

She is EXCEPTIONALLY affectionate though. Always purring, purrs really loud, loves to snuggle and have her tummy rubbed, scared of everything, but she's a really sweet cat. Just kind of dumb and mildly irritating. She's about a month older than Metro, and we adopted them the same day, but they are not from the same parents. However, Tasha is still kind of Met's big sis. Met is a wee bit jealous and protective and if Tasha tries to snuggle with me or sit in my lap or get on my bed and Met is around...Met will straight beat her ass and take the spot she occupied. He does this with most places he finds her sleeping. Chairs, couch, my bed, floor, if he wants to be there, he's going to kick her ass to get that spot, especially if it is close to me. It's pretty funny and cute, really.

So, the other day two of my friends were celebrating 4 years of being together, Z is a 27 year old guy and T is a 23 year old girl. Awww. I was hanging out at school in the spot where we all hang out between classes, and had my guitar with me working on this new song I'm writing. So, they show up after their classes and I wish them a happy anniversary and such. Z asks me to sing/play a romantic song for them, and I happily agree.

Now, I'm mischievous as all hell, and a bit of a prankster. I can also say/do a lot of things with a straight face. So I tell them I'm going to sing a love song about a guy who knows girls like him, but he is looking for a certain kind of girl. Z and T start smiling and sit close to me holding each other, thinking they're about to get all kissy face while I sing and play a sweet song for them.

So I start playing some chords, and I know they aren't gonna recognize the song of a lot of reasons, not the least of which it's being played acoustically on a classical guitar. So I play a nifty little intro then begin to sing the song which starts like this:

"You know I thug 'em, fuck 'em, love 'em, leave 'em, cause I don't fuckin' need 'em..."

For those of you who don't know the song, that would be Jay-Z's song Big Pimpin'. In a fit of boredom I learned a few rap songs on guitar a few months ago. I can see their faces and I just keep singing and playing with a straight face, though I REALLY want to start laughing. I finally crack once I have to try and sing a moderately vulgar part of the song in an acoustic serenade style, and I just put my guitar down and start laughing. T wacked me with the school newspaper giggling, and Z was just shocked and looked like a deer in headlights. Though, they start laughing with me because I'm straight hysterical laughing on the ground turning red and can't breathe. T was like "Why the hell didn't you expect that? It IS Aeris after all". She has a point, I do tend to do things like that.

Z of all people should know. For April Fool's one year, in a fit of genius engineering, I had his car propped up about 10 feet above ground as part of an archway across the sidewalk in front of his house. Though me and T teamed up the next year and had his car parked in the middle of an animal enclosure at the zoo. God that was funny, because when we showed up to that enclosure, there was a male peacock standing on the car in full display taking a massive shit on the windshield.

Anyways, if any of you get married, I'll be glad to show up and play Ludacris song You's A Ho as the bridal march.

~A.