Lyric from a Pharrell Williams song.
I've been in one hell of a funk lately, yeah? Don't get me wrong, I'm not even about to say it's over. But, today is better. So, I'll go with that.
In one of the many emails I've received from friends lately, one kinda struck me. I was told that I come off as conceited in this blog because I often mention my various interactions with other people, and that the one where I talk about my confusion about what's so attractive about me in particular. Let me clarify.
The whole reason I talk about things like that and express confusion and curiosity is because this whole interacting with people is pretty new to me. It's only been within, hm, the past 16 months or so that I've really started to kinda be outgoing and also notice the effect I have on other people when we interact. I used to CONSTANTLY be afraid people were staring at me because I was weird, or different, or they were judging me harshly. To find that's rarely the case is interesting to me. Also reinforces positive behaviors, and I'm not quite so scared to be out in public. Crowded places still agitate me though. My point being is I'm fucking fascinated about the new things in interpersonal interactions. I have A LOT to learn. I know this. That's ok. Not beyond me. I think. Also, this is my blog and where I dump my brain. I can say whatever I want. :P
I was going to make this post about racial identity and being mixed race, but that's a little too heavy for me right now. Next one, probably.
So I'll ramble about some non-serious stuff. First up, as most of you know, in the 2 years I've had my Motorola Q9M phone, it's been replaced 7 times. This means I'm on my EIGHTH phone in 2 years. Not a great track record, but at the same time I know this phone backwards and forwards. Well, next Friday, Nov. 6th, the Motorola Droid comes out. And Verizon has given me an early upgrade and discount (REALLY early) because of all the bullshit I've had with my phone. So, the Droid is my phone of choice. It's Motorola, who I have a phone thing for, plus they made my awesome bluetooth headphones I can't live without. It is also running Google's Android OS, which, in my opinion, is probably the next big thing phonewise. It also has wifi on it, and comes with a 16 gig microSD card. Win. Oh, and it's both touchscreen and has a keyboard, which is good because I was hesitant on going full touch screen. I like pressing buttons. (Take that however you please.)
Still kinda bitter the LG Chocolate Touch was NOT the BL40. Because focus groups didn't like the shape. Gah.
There's a 2nd Android based phone coming out, rumor is the same day as the Moto Droid. It's called the Droid Eris. (BEST NAME EVER EVER EVER, and where my first name is derived from .) But, it's more of a lower end type of smartphone, and the specs compared to the Droid are kinda sad. It's definitely aimed towards a different audience, I think. Like the version of Android it runs is rather outdated. Well, the Droid runs the latest version, 2.0. I think the Eris runs 1.6. There's a lot of functionality lost between the two. More importantly, I am a high speed, high tech, fastest, most powerful, latest and greatest kind of girl. So Droid it is. (Eris still has the best name ever.)
So last night I decided I needed to update my profile pic for here, Twitter, Myspace, and Facebook. I'd been wearing my favorite and lucky hat yesterday, and I like the look. I ALWAYS wear any hat with a brim off to the left side and over my left eye, and I'm doing so in that pic. (in case ya haven't looked yet, slackers) I think it's kind of a cute look on me.
The most striking thing about that picture is that I'm smiling. Despite everything I'm thinking and going through, I'm smiling. I took a BUNCH of pictures to try and get one that would work (most of the pics I take are blurry) and that's the only one where I'm smiling. I don't know why I'm smiling, but hey, I am. So now I've plastered it every where to remind me I can still smile, I have a reason to smile.
Oh, and that I don't look as ridiculous as I think when I smile.
~A.