Primordial Chaos

The title is Egyptian for scarab beetles and means to transform or to become. My latest fascination is with scarab beetles of all kinds. I dunno why, I randomly get fascinated with random creatures.

So, I know I've been exceptionally sporadic on Facebook, Twitter and here, as pointed out to me in a text message received earlier. 3 of my classes all the damn exams except the finals are on the same day, so every couple of week I have 3 exams the same day. So that's been keeping me busy and brutalizing my free time and mental space, due to a neurologist appointment where I can't have anything in my system, from advil to vitamins to my usual meds so I'm also going through a very violent and uncomfortable withdrawal from two of my meds plus I had to stop my birth control that keeps me from bleeding myself anemic once a month, so now I'm anemic and my body has no idea when I'm supposed to have my period so I've basically had 4 periods in the past 5-6 weeks so I'm EXTRA anemic and having to eat more more and more often which has resulted in about 2-3 pounds of weight gain over the past week. I am fucking MISERABLE and keeping updates going is like the last thing from my mind. So that's what's up. I hate my life right now, and I still have 9 days until my neurologist appointment so shit is gonna get worse for me, at least health-wise.

Today however, I am in a pretty happy mood and feel not so shitty, even though I slept maybe 3-4 hours last night, but I took a 4 hour nap when I got home today so I'm functioning. I found out today they FINALLY got in touch with the lady who rear ended me and have accepted liability so I can get my car fixed or take a $1300 check and get it fixed on my own. I'm actually debating on this one since I can grab a new bumper cover and get my car repainted RIGHT and have money left over, possibly to fix other minor shit on my car that drives me nuts. I dunno though. Since like 570 bucks of the 1300 are parts and paint, the rest is labor. Somehow that isn't justifiable to me, but at the same time part of me thinks "oh just get your car fixed and have them pay for it". There's a sticking point for me though, and that is having part of my car repainted AND they're gonna put clear coat on the part they repaint...something the rest of my car lacks since it was painted with paint that has built in clear coat. So like 1/4th of my car is gonna look like a new car and the rest will look like it does now. Which, for fuck's sake, I could repaint it myself and make it match better. That's another tempting idea. Also, they want to charge 95 bucks for ONE used tail light, when I can get the cool looking aftermarket ones I want for 45 bucks...FOR THE PAIR. So, in a way, I can get more for my money doing it myself. Through the del sol club I hang out with, I have access to professional painting equipment and a couple of professionals who'd help me get the job done for free. Still mulling this over, but my "fuck you, I can do this on my own and better and more what I want" attitude is definitely in full force. I'm not helpless or stupid, I don't NEED someone to fix my car for me. I've already removed my rear bumper before to add reinforcement under it so it can take a harder impact than standard, I could take it off and put a new one on just as easily. :) I'm telling you, being independent, smart and CAPABLE is going to serve me well in life, and already has. Maybe a custom paint job is in order... :P

So, I mentioned the del sol club I hang out with. Basically, there's about 12 of us total now, just people who are del sol drivers and lovers who all get together in our del sols and hang out and do stupid shit. For example, 6-8 of us get together on weekends and there's 6-8 del sols driving around in a herd, usually surrounding some asshole in an SUV on the phone and being pains in the ass. Like we'll surround someone and then do 10-15 under the limit, and they can't get away cause, well, they're surrounded! It's like an NBA player being impeded by a bunch of midgets. It's fucking hilarious. I've learned that everyone in this club tends to think like me driving wise, where we won't be bullied cause we drive a small car, but we will do some bullying because fuck you, we can. :P I have the "smallest" del sol since mine is the only one lowered. I'm also the only girl. I get lots of respect though because I'm not one of THOSE girl del sol drivers who doesn't understand the car but just like it cause it's cute. Blue isn't cute, Blue is BADASS. My favorite activity is del sol soccer. See, del sols are low cars without being lowered. this leads to shit like boxes and tumbleweeds getting stuck under them on a regular basis if hit at a decent speed. But, we've discovered at slower speeds, like under 15 miles per hour, tumbleweeds can be pushed around by a del sol. There are a bunch of rules so there are no collisions, but basically, we find a giant tumbleweed (not hard here) and we play soccer with it by pushing it around with our cars. This is seriously one of the most ridiculous scenes I've ever seen with a few del sols hijacking an empty parking lot and pushing a tumbleweed between two cones as our goal posts. But it is so much god damn fun. Everyone wants me on their team because my car is lowered so I can move a bit faster without pulverizing the tumbleweed. Though, I still take out the tumbleweed sometimes, if you look under my car you will see pieces of tumbleweeds stuck underneath. But everyone creams the tumbleweed at some point, and the person who scores the winning goal gets to hit the tumbleweed at a high speed which is just making a big mess and sending pieces everywhere, but it's fun to watch and do.

I was hoping I'd hear back from my preferred school application wise this week, but it's looking like it got pushed back to next week because they're so overwhelmed. = / But they pushed back the first year admissions decisions a week so I'm not super surprised transfers got pushed back. BUT JESUS I AM GOING INSANE I JUST WANT TO KNOW IF I GOT IN!!!! The absolute latest is the 17th, so I'm still under 2 weeks till I hear about my app. Gah.

Warren is my best friend and my partner in life, and to quote a song: Cause I'm a rider, and he's a roller, put us together, how they gonna stop both us?

They can't. ;)

~A.