Primordial Chaos

 I've been listening to this song A LOT lately, especially in my car. Cookie if you can guess why. D'Angelo - Smooth:


So my Lobos won tonight 88-86 in OT to a team that beat us earlier this season. I seriously hope some of the video shows up on Youtube because there are a few seriously awesome moments I'd like to share. It was a REALLY good game to watch, even though I was watching from home. I wish I'd been there! The Heels, hey, listen, I'm still a fan, but they are fucking sucking this season, and it's really hard to wanna post about them losing all the time. Especially when the Lobos are far more interesting. I REALLY wish the Heels and Lobos would play each other and the Lobos win. I'd like that to go down in the books and I would laugh my ass silly over it. Just sayin'. :P

Life is returning to normal after the whole seizure thing. Next week I go back to classes and get back into the groove and/or caught up if need be. My life is crazy, yeah? Always SOMETHING wild going on. My memory is back for the most part, that whole day it happened is really sketchy though. My mood is kinda off too, I don't know if it's because they adjusted my dosage or because of the seizure. I'm kinda touchy and kinda moody, at least more so than usual. Hell, that could be from all of the emotional bullshit I've gone through over the past couple of weeks. It definitely got worse after the seizure and dosage change, so that's at least part of the issue. I'm sure once everything settles down, mentally and emotionally, I'll go back to my generally laid back self. Right now though, I'm a live fucking wire.

Right now I'm in the calm before the storm. In March application deadlines are coming up, so I need to be absolutely damn sure of where I'm applying to before then. But shit's complicated. It was complicated to start with, then got really simple, but now got complicated in a couple of ways I wasn't expecting. I'll try this rolling with the punches thing. As long as I reach my primary goal/focus, I think I can cope with anything else. Of course, I said that before and then couldn't cope with Warren being gone so that's just motivational bullshit. But really, it's true, I can handle anything as long as I reach my goal of going into research. But only if anything doesn't involve a situation that requires being without Warren. :P I've given up trying to explain it to other people. I guess only he and I understand it. Which that's pretty cool, really.

As I do, I'm stressing about possible issues if I do leave UNM/NM. To be specific, whether or not where I go will let me have my cat AND my dog. I'd be sooooooo heartbroken if I had to leave one. :( Of course, if I take them I'd have to get my own place because trying to match pets and roommates is just too much of a pain. I guess that's another thing, do I live on my own or get roommates. True to my solitary nature, I'd prefer on my own. But maybe there's experience to be gained from doing the whole college roommates thing? However, I'd have to room with girls. Fuck. That. Rooming with guys would be preferred, but that leaves open a bunch of issues. First, I wouldn't room with gay guys because I'm just too tomboyish and generally don't have anything in common with them besides finding men attractive, most tend to run feminine which is what I'm trying to avoid anyways. But I can't room with straight guys because that would get weird in a fucking hurry. Especially since I'm cute as hell. :P My point being there's so much to consider, it's definitely not going to be a jump up and go kind of deal. It will be very calculated. As I do. :)

My life is in a state of intense change, and I'm doing pretty good at keeping my cool about it all. This new me is pretty fucking awesome.

~A.