Primordial Chaos

 You're Fly by Ryan Leslie. He's new to my musical world, but I love his stuff. This is the song I play almost constantly in my car. Earlier I took a drive with Blue in convertible mode with this song playing loud. At a stoplight this group of guys all pointed out the window at me on the chorus "baby you're fly". :) See, even strangers know what's up. ;) I went with a RED border this time as a nod to my Lobos.

 

I'm completely edgy about the fucking college apps, another part of my life I wish would end already so I can stop stressing out. I am currently of the mindset of I REALLY REALLY REALLY hope I get into to my fav school. I want that SO BAD. But if I don't get in, I'll be heartbroken (what fucking else is new, jesus) and surly for a few days. Once I get over that, I'll pick myself up, wipe away the tears, dust myself off and scream at the top of my lungs....

I AM A LOBO!!!!

Yeah, it's very all or nothing. Either I go to my first choice or I stay here. I'm a Lobos basketball fan either way, fuck the new school, I'm only there for academics.

This is about to get sappy. REALLY sappy. Just saying.

So if I do go to a new school, that means moving. Far away. Setting up brand new in a town I don't know and people I don't know. Kinda daunting, I'm not sure what I'll need to get started, and I'm intending to start with not much and get rid of some of the crap I have now. My guitar, the table I talked my mom into giving me because it's cool, my assorted electronics (no TV though figured just get one there so I don't have to drag it cross country), my assorted toiletries, my clothes which will be greatly reduced because I'm still sorting out shit that doesn't fit anymore and we're talking one box kind of reduced, my notebooks, my Converse collection (:P) and maybe some other small items I'm sure my mother will give me. We're talking everything could fit in Blueshift kind of starting over (the gun stays, if I'm not going shooting with Jess then I have no want for it). Totally scary shit. And knowing me, I will forget to start off with so many basics you'd worry if I can survive on my own. :P I tend to be narrow minded, and when that happens, things get forgotten. Someone should make sure I start off on the right foot! Hell, I might need a team of people!

I think I know just the 3 for the job. Yeah, YOU 3 Okies. :P My dad, Cy, and Celeste. Specifically my dad. Especially him, I want him there nagging the fuck out of me about this and that. He does that to help and protect me, and I can see his intentions, he's not trying to micromanage me or thinks I'm incompetent, he wants to make damn sure I'm ok and bases are covered. Still pisses me off sometimes, but I never ever question that he is looking out for me. I'm defiant, not stupid. I'd really like to make a vacation of it, stop along the way and sightsee and shit. I want a family vacation of it. I miss those. I was navigator! I made sure we were on the right track to getting to our destination. Things would be a little diff, I'd just tell Alexandroid where we wanted to go and let him navigate. Helpful if my dad decides to take one of his "shortcuts". :P But those are the 3 people I want there as I step on stage, because my audience is waiting, of course.

You see those stereotyped scenes in movies of the dad helping his daughter off to college, he's being overbearing and she gets all pissy because he's embarrassing her, you know the deal. Or hell, entire movies about that, i.e. College Road Trip. We don't need cracked out pigs, Martin Lawrence, or that irritating Double Dutch Bus song, (Go watch it if you haven't, I'm not saying it's quality though. NEVER said that.) but the general idea is nice and I thought it was a cute movie because of the subject matter. I could relate to that whole dad/daughter dynamic that gets weird as she starts her strides into the world. However, I'm not at that age where I am totally fucking naive, I've had an interesting life and definitely world experience. So it won't be so weird or so much conflict. Well, at least not about that kind of "she's growing up" crap. We'll find something to argue over though. Unless there's a Chili's. Fajitas and margaritas are REALLY HARD to argue over. :P "If you two don't stop arguing I'll pull into this Chili's parking lot so help me god!" Cause you know, if we're already in the parking lot, might as well go inside. :P I'm chuckling at this pretty hard. It's more true than I could ever explain. Chili's is our DMZ. And we both would so be like, "hey, since we're here, let's eat". I'm chuckling so fucking hard I'm having to type in between bursts. I love my dad. :) He knows this is all fact. :P

TOMORROW IS SELECTION SUNDAY! This means not much to anyone but myself. I get to find out my Lobos seed, and there's a huge party at The Pit that'll be shown live on TV. Still debating on facepaint, but I got Lobos temporary tattoos and red/silver pompom bracelets, plus my new, VERY AERIS, Lobos shirt. I can upload straight to YouTube from Alexandroid, so I will try to do so if I'm not too busy acting insane. I will get video no matter what and upload it, it just might be later on in the evening. I'll do a pre-event vid like I did with that one basketball game...which reminds me there are a few videos lurking on Alexandroid I spaced out about. (This is what I mean about forgetting shit, these are from December.) All of my profiles will updated with a pic of me decked out in red and silver...if I don't do facepaint, I have red and silver makeup. And I'm painting my nails red with silver tips tonight. DON'T JUDGE ME! :P Let's quietly mention Lobos LOST last night for the 4th time this season. I'd like for them to not lose anymore, all considering. :P If Lobos wind up going to OKC, I'd have to make a trip one weekend to visit my loving family, and we can all have a family outing....to the game. :P Getting tickets is the buzzkill though. I wouldn't care if I was in the nosebleed section, cause this is Lobos at The Dance, but again, getting tickets. :( I don't think my family would want to be seen with me in fan mode either. I'd bring a few (dozen) rolls of quarters for the bad word jar. :P

So, keep an eye out for pics of the new shirt, and I'll have the pre-event vid up before the damn thing even starts. It starts at 3, I plan on getting there about 12-1. Worst comes to worst I have a Mahjongg layout on Alexandroid that is currently the only one I have not cleared out of 55 layouts, and I already know I can spend hours at that getting riled up. Seriously, I've attempted it about 300 times now, still can't. This is about, oh, OVER TWICE as many tries as it took for me to clear ALL of the others.

The part that gets me is the layout is a heart shape.

~A.