Primordial Chaos

 (Craig David album title)
 Storytime, everyone!

Once upon a time, 3 stubborn Christian priests were asked to stop being Christian, or get fucking murdered. They, being religious zealots, decided they would rather die than "renounce" their religion, though they could have just lied and gone on preaching and shit. So, they get fucking murdered, and considering the time period, AD 197 to AD 269, you can bet your ass they died pretty horrible deaths, most likely crucified considering they were offed by Romans, who became famous for doing this to some guy named, oh, Jesus Christ. Because other religious wackjobs love the idea someone who would face death instead of say they're not Christian, they decided these 3 martyrs were special and made them saints. So these 3 dead guys who were nailed to wood and tortured to death, are now saints and saints get a feast day to celebrate them.

And so Valentine's Day was born. Seriously. SERIOUSLY.

But now it is nothing more than commercialized affection and a guilt trip that you have to get someone you love something special and nice...more specifically, girls guilt trip guys into dinner, flowers and candy while the guy is lucky to get a hand job.

I'm really disgusted by Valentine's Day. You can't go into a store without seeing piles and aisles full of red, pink and white candy, cards, teddy bears, whatever crap they're trying to sell you because if you don't buy it the person/people you care about aren't TRULY special to you. All because you won't shell out a few bucks for flowers which are gonna die. Or chocolates usually requested by the same people who resolved to eat better and be healthier for their New Year's resolution and/or girls who are going complain their ass is fat in about 3 days when they've inhaled a 10 pound box of chocolate whatever. Or a teddy bear that'll wind up in the closet in about a week.

All the people who care about me in my life don't have to buy me cheap crap to show it. I already know. Their gift to me is everything they bring to my life everyday. Anyone who expects something MORE on V Day doesn't care quite as much about their important people as they'd have you believe. How many boyfriends are getting guilt tripped into spending a bunch of money on a girl, and she'd get mad if he didn't? It's not a gift, she fucking EXPECTS it. Are you fucking serious? Your relationship is off to a fine start if there's pressure and expectations to spend piles of money on "important" days. She's basically saying "you're great and all, but you're not enough for me on certain days so you need to compensate with dinner/flowers/candy/jewelry/other gifts". Guys can't hit girls, but those girls need some sense knocked into them. (I'm for hire)

Even better is when guys get guilt tripped AFTERWARDS because one of her friend's boyfriend went all out and her gift was elaborate and expensive. She's hinting that next year you need to do better because she wants to play the one up game and/or she thinks you don't love her enough to go through the trouble/expense. This is when you let her know that won't be your problem next year because you're through with her gold digger ass, and turn around and walk.

Happy Singles Awareness Day! I'm single, I'm aware, and I'm definitely happy I don't need this shit...hell I bet the singles are the happiest ones on V Day. We're all a few hundred bucks richer than a lot of others. Fuck commercialized affection and fuck people who think it means something and REALLY fuck people who want and expect it.

Though I'm all for bringing back nailing people to wood to celebrate Valentine's Day. Bet you a lot of people would never celebrate it again:
Her: "What are we doing for Valentine's Day? Going to dinner?"
Him: "No, we're going to celebrate the original meaning and nail your ass to plywood in the backyard."

Love is made of words and laughter, not chocolate and some plush doll made in China.

~A.