Primordial Chaos

Paolo Nutini song. :P

I have a lot of inexplicable quirks. A LOT. My pencil quirks are particularly superstitious and bizarre. And completely inexplicable. Such as....

I will not use a mechanical pencil for any reason. Not even for a brief note, NOTHING. On top of that I'm obsessive about what pencil I'm using. I'm seriously particular about this, I get REALLY upset and agitated if I don't have one of my pencils. I'm obsessive about what pencil I'm using to the point of using that type/brand of pencil exclusively or, guess what, I get upset and agitated. (It's a theme with me, getting upset and agitated.) I started off with Papermate Earthwrites, 100% recycled pencils, but a few years ago they changed the damn pencil construction and it was not a good pencil anymore, the lead constantly broke, they changed the color to standard pencil yellow (hate that color), and the tip would fall to pieces when sharpened. So I tried some other pencils, eventually settling on Papermate's Mirado Black Warrior. Same shit different day, they changed those to cheaper materials, so I had to find another pencil again. Ticonderoga Noirs were my newest weapon of choice, and I bought 144 of them. They're not super spectactular for writing since they shed their silver coating everywhere and they do not sharpen well at all. But, they were the closest to what I was looking for feel, look, and writing wise, so I got them. But....

They brought back the green lacquered Earthwrites! AND they changed them to whatever method of construction they used before! I am REALLY HAPPY ABOUT THIS. But now I have a bunch of the Noirs that are ok, but they're no Earthwrites! Oh well. I'll find something constructive to do with them. (Just not write!) Seriously, finding the original Earthwrites made my day. I know that's ridiculous, but it's true.

Now, I have some REALLY PECULIAR pencil "rules". They are not anything new, I remember doing most of these habits in high school even. They're still weird and superstitious, trust me I know that.

I have 4 groups of pencils each with it's own separate drawer. Day to day, quiz, writing (like if I'm writing poetry or a story for myself), and test. A pencil can't change drawers or usage once I've put it in a drawer and pencils from the same box have to go into the same drawer. Even if brand new, I can't use a quiz pencil for a test, if I'm out of test pencils I can't use one from another drawer, etc.

So, I have 4 of my pencil on me or by me AT ALL TIMES. I have 4 stashed in my car and 4 in my backpack. I'm just going to talk about this in the context of school because duh, at home I have my pencils. Only 4 on my desk at a time though. :P The 4 in my backpack are my day to day pencils, homework, notes, whatever. I CANNOT take a quiz or a test using one of those. They also can't touch my test/quiz pencils and they are discarded when they are less than 4 inches long. (I told you this is weird.) If I throw one out, then I make sure I get another one since there has to be 4. (The number 4 is another of my bizarre quirks.)

Quiz pencils work differently. I have one pencil for each quiz I have that day, and they HAVE to be in a separate compartment of my bookbag than the day to day. Each pencil is used SOLELY for one quiz then thrown away at the end of the class I took the quiz in. I can't use the pencil I took a French quiz with to take a biology quiz. 

Test pencils have to be separate from the others, and the rules are similar to quiz. However, there are 4 test pencils for EACH test. All 4 get tossed at the end of the class I took a test in, even if I didn't even use some and they are brand new, they have to go. I'm just really weirdly superstitious about this. I don't know why or when it started, but I can remember doing all of this back in 9th grade.

I'm weird! I know this, but I accept it. All I am is who I am, and you're free to think what you like.

But don't fuck with my pencils. :)

~A.